Happy New Year!

It's the middle of the year, and I am just now reminded of my New Year's resolutions. I set a few small goals for myself this year, keeping in mind that 1) I was moving to a new city 2) I was going to have to learn the challenges of staying home with a 6-month old and a 2-year old, and 3) my family and friends were not within reasonable driving distance to call upon for help. Well, let's take a look at my top three goals for this year and see how I fared.

I resolved:

1. To read every day.
Well, I had a good start, although Motherhood got the best of me, and I didn't read every day. I did however, find some things that interested me. I picked up some old novels I uncovered while unpacking, and I almost finished one. I'm still reading Fortune's Rocks by Anita Shrieve, and hopefully one day I'll get around to the end. It's an enticing read in the fashion of Lolita, but I have found I need something I can start and stop on a whim without much thought (the same approach is true of my so-called diets). The best book I started and read, finally, was a collection of autobiographical essays by David Sedaris (Me Talk Pretty One Day). I laughed my way through every page, and I found it was fun to read while riding the stationary bike at the gym. This leads me to the next resolution...

2. To loose that extra baby weight!
I joined a gym with an on-site nursery so I could focus on getting back to a healthier state of mind and body. I told myself the extra money was worth it if I came out a better wife and mother for it. It was tempting at first to drop my children off in the nursery and sit in the locker room and read for two hours (the amount of time members have before they start charging by the minute). But, I hung in there and discovered that even 20 minutes of activity once a week is better than none at all. It is such a hassle to load up my babies and go anywhere, that sometimes I just put it off for another day. This is precisely why I need a gym membership in the first place! I can barely lift my children into the SUV without pulling a muscle, and there are days when the double stroller feels like it weighs 50 pounds! Besides, my children need exercise, too, and going to the park for them is a priority. Nonetheless, I find that when I make that extra effort to schlep to the gym, I feel so much better for having gone, even if it is only once or twice a week.

3. To sing every week.
Since having children, I have been off the audition circuit. I had to leave my job in Charlotte as a music instructor (my husband's company relocated him in January), and now I have to rely on outside gigs for extra income. I thought I would use my "free" time as a new stay-at-home mom to stretch my voice, whip some old songs into shape, and take the stage again. "After all, I have the talent," I said to myself, "but more importantly, I have the education to pay-off!" So, about that "free" time. Nothing is free, especially if you are a mother of two. The only free time I have is when the children are napping, and I certainly do not want to sing then! So, I tried having a little music time after the boys' naps. I fear now I have ruined music for my two-year-old forvever! "No singing, Mommy." Now, I'm not that terrible, but he believes when I try to practice and focus at the piano that he is being deprived of attention. So, I tried including him and teaching him songs, but that didn't work. "What two-year old doesn't like music?" I asked myself. One whose Mommy makes it a priority. Now he won't even let me play the radio in the car. The one thing I'm good at, and I can't even teach it to my son! I did find an outlet for singing, and I am so thankful. I joined an oratorio group here in Fayetteville (the Cumberland Oratorio Singers- check them out) and we performed two concerts this spring. I am so grateful that Ryan agreed to wrangle the boys for a couple of hours every Monday night. I was able to get out of the house once a week, do something I love, and I was able to socialize with other musicians and mommies! That resolution was defnitely a success.

Well friends, I have learned so far this year, that being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had. Everything is a challenge. It literally takes me five minutes to change one diaper, and I have two children in diapers still! I spend One hour every day just cleaning bottoms, I'm sure! So, I may not get around to reading every day, and I certainly don't get to the gym every day. I have lost 2 or 3 pounds (maybe), but the real accomplishment is finding a renewed sense of self when I do take the time to step on that treadmill. Also, I'm not America's next Idol, and I am not singing at the Metropolitan Opera (yet), but I am singing again. In fact, when I really take the time to listen, I discover my life is filled with music in so many ways, mostly because of my children. I am lucky to be able to be home with them during these most special years; they give me a new reason to sing, and for that I am truly grateful. Happy New Year!