tonyaparrilla's Page

The Empty Nest Blues ...
But a Mom's poem brightens the day.By Tonya Parrilla
Written about 1 1/2 years ago.


It's been nearly a year, and I'm still struggling with the "Empty Nest Syndrome." Although my son is now 18 and moved to
the Wilmington area after graduation this past June, I still enjoy reading others' stories on your Happy online parenting
magazine. I certainly wish I had access to such an informative site when my son was still at home ... because you'd be
seeing a lot more blogs from me! Believe it or not, I copy and paste some topics to send along to him, so we can
reminisce about the good ol' days.
Your site allows me to reflect back to the days when I was known as "Joe'l's Mom" or "No. 80's Mom" or "Ms. Gonzalez"
(even though I was never a Gonzalez like he is). Those were such precious times and, oh, how I miss them. I never
dreamed I'd miss those cold Friday night football games, but I wish I could have just one more year back so I could cheer
a little harder, clap a lot louder, scream his name out more often and smile a heck of a lot more.
For the past several months, I have been having a difficult time sleeping, being happy and just letting my hair down and
enjoying myself. I was in a state of depression, missing my only child. I hike up the road many, many weekends to
Wilmington just to go to lunch with my "little boy." I must admit I cry every time I cross that bridge heading home. But,
inevitably, my phone rings, or I get a text message telling me what a wonderful mother I am or how lucky he is to have
me ... talk about a bundle of joy. Joe'l was and still is a special "little boy" to me.
I'll never forget a play he was in the ninth grade. He is as precious today as he was the first time I saw him on a stage
dressed like a woman in a wedding gown ... he was the bride in a guy's only wedding play. The funny part was, I never
saw "me" in him until he had a face full of makeup. See, you too can reflect back to these sweet memories just as I am
today. He was the unique one who had all the girls and called no one a girlfriend. He was as happy to hang out with the
boys. Or he would wake me up bright and early just to go "yard saling" on a cold Saturday morning. For all the mornings I
claimed to be too tired, I wish I had gotten my tush up out of bed and started sipping coffee with him as we cruised the
neighborhoods for the biggest yard sale.
Being a mother is a joy like no other and letting go can be difficult. But I am so excited about what lies ahead for my
"bundle of joy" in the coming years!
I'd like to share a poem with you I stashed away in my son's suitcase as he stepped out into the real world!

My Sweet Joe'l

I held you in my arms on the day you were born
I dreamed about your future
And the things you would learn
Now you stand before me
A boy, almost a man
I find myself reluctant to
Let go of your hand.
But, nothing can diminish the
Pride that is in my heart
Least of all the knowledge
That it is time for us to part.
So, now I give my only son
The space to find his way
And to celebrate the future on his graduation day.
I love you ... MOM.

I also made a copy and placed it on his night stand before I left his very first apartment in Wilmington. I want to give him a
copy every time I leave his side. The times are getting easier each time I visit and we are in daily contact. The awesome
part is he is so full of compassion and concern over how "Mom" is doing.